As I sit in a semi-crowded restaurant watching the door with a bit of anxiety, I wonder how did I get here. Was it me? Was it them? What exactly has led me to the world of social dating? Did I actually buy into the hype of finding my soulmate based on a bunch of pre-answered questions tabulated to create "matches"? Maybe I'm not looking for my retirement plan at the moment, maybe I'm just looking for some fun. What better way to take some of the guesswork out of dating? So here I am...
Every time the door opens, I either hope it's him or hope it's not him!! When an ugh-schmug comes through the door - I immediately turn my head. He does not see me, he does NOT see me. Whew - dodged a bullet there! But when a beautiful specimen of a man comes in, I readjust my blouse, moisten my lips, and smile waiting to make eye contact. I maintain my perfect smile until it fades involuntarily at the sight of Mr. Gorgeous walking up to a Ms. Perfect (that is not me). Or in some cases a Mr. Perfect. Damn, for real? Well bravo to you, Sir, for scooping up some man candy like that!! So now, I'm stuck looking at the door again every few minutes between text messages to my girlfriends. I get a message that reads, "I sure hope he's not 4'11" or 600 lbs... or 600 lbs AND 4'11"! Make sure you know where the exits are! lmao." and as soon as I burst out laughing, I hear, "Excuse me, are you...?"
Now when you're dealing with social dating sites, people have the freedom to invent themselves as anybody that their imagination tells them they can be. In my mind, there are no flaws on my body. My teeth are perfectly white (although I drink coffee every morning). My armpits don't sweat no matter how much I work out. I smell like my morning shower all day long...it's like the 18 hour bra! The 18 hour shower! I'm 5'9" and only 130 lbs. I could go on and on. My point is that when its you and the keyboard, you can be anything you want to be - DON'T! Be who you are. Be the person that you see everyday. Be confident in your abilities. Don't tell me you're 6'2" and Nigerian and then you walk up in our date 5'7" and Norwegian! DO YOU NOT THINK I'LL NOTICE?!!!! Come on, man!!
What makes people lie on their profiles? If you're really trying to meet someone to have some fun, let it all out! What do you have to lose? There are a million other people to wink at, or wave to, or smile at, or whatever you have to do to flirt via cyberspace! If this one doesn't like you... find another one. Your best chance to get the most bang out of your buck (so to speak)(pun intended) (disclaimer: you are not a John if you pay for the possibility of meeting someone online to possibly have sex with down the road - at least I don't think. lol.) is to be honest, tell the truth, and see where it gets you. I had a coworker that straight told the guy they weren't going anywhere because he lied on his profile and he was chubbier than she liked. Well clearly, she was a b.i. - but her point is valid. If she's superficial enough to turn you away bc of your weight, she would've done it online had you given her the chance. That would've saved you a train ride, buddy! Be honest. And if only she had put "potential to be a pompous ass" on her profile, he would've known to leave her alone in the first place!
We're all out here trying to play this chess game of dating - whether you're a pawn or a King... be honest about it! A pawn can't be disguised as a King - but it can still put some moves on the Queen! Get 'em Tiger!! :)
What happens after the morning after....social dating sites? HONESTY. SELF-REFLECTION. A guy that pays your way into the movies with quarters (thrifty), a girl who inadvertently uses curse words in her story-telling (edgy), a guy who puts work ahead of you (ambitious), or a girl who just simply makes you smile (dabomb.com). If you look for the good in the person, you might surprise yourself. If you're honest about the good in you, you might be a refreshing change of pace for someone else. We're all grown here, let's keep it 100. I am what I am. I am what I eat, and I am what I know. But I could try eating what you eat, and learning some of what you know - and who knows who I'd be then!!
Stay with me!
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