Oh this is just great, I work everyday with people that I pretend to like, eating granola bars out of a vending machine, and teaching my boss her job just so I can maintain my level of broke!! The absolute bullsense (I want to say something else, but I'll refrain for now) is what this is! Mama told me one day it was gonna happen, but she never told me when... that's a lie. Mama didn't tell me anything, mama made it look easy. "Ma, can I have the new PlayStation that comes out tomorrow?" - "Ma, can I live in an apartment instead of the dorms?" - "Ma, can you put more money on my meal card, so I can feed this football playing tall drink of water I call my boyfriend?" She just kept saying yes!! How was I suppose to know that each time I asked, she had to dig deeper into her pockets to find that YES. (shrugs shoulders ) She made it look easy.
So my thought process was this... get a degree, get a job, and start buying stuff! A house, a new car, a lawnmower, a grill, a wheelbarrow!! lol. I mean whatever. Once you're out of school, everything is supposed to fall into place. You have no plan B and no one tells you how difficult it will be.
So here you are, Jane, you've graduated from school, you've started an entry level position at the first company that made an offer - you have your whole future ahead of you! Ain't no stoppin' us now... we're on the move! Sing with me! Ain't no stoppin' us now... we've got the groove!! But wouldn't you know it...life happens, Jane! Scenario 1: You start making some money and start buying stuff - more stuff than your entry level job can pay for, next thing you know your mom is telling Chase Bank, Victoria's Secret, Macy's, and the Container Store that you're not home! Really, Jane, the Container Store? - come on!! Scenario 2: You meet a boy, boy takes you home, boy plays with girl parts - no boy becomes i don't know boy which becomes OH BOY or GOOD GOD BOY (or a combination of both - OH GOOD GOD BOY) - next thing you know... boy, jr! It's like, you're driving down a very crowded highway one minute with all your friends in tow and 3 turns later - you're picking tumbleweeds out of your ass alone! How did this happen? How did I get here? How can I get back to where I was when my life had so much promise?
You turn around - a full 180 degrees and there's only a mirror behind you with your own reflection staring back! What the hell?? Don't take this opportunity to Vogue in the mirror - Don't do the Dougie - Don't check your teeth for spinach - Don't turn around and look at your butt.... BE SERIOUS. Take a good hard look into your own eyes. Now look beyond your eyes - search your soul. Find that person in there that is holding on to hope, the one with all the ambition - wake that chick up!! Tell her to get you back on track because bottom line is - THERE IS NO GOING BACK. There's only forward. You have to move forward. All the mistakes/choices in the past don't define you. You still have the ability to be whatever you want to be. You can still do whatever you want to do.
I'm speaking about this today because I've found myself in a few tumbleweed situations! I have the thoughts and questions about working everyday and still not having the freedom that the Constitution talks about. I don't have any kids, but I do have bills. I have life - given to me by God (thank you), I have happiness - I'm blessed beyond comprehension because I have a network of friends and family that have allowed me to be myself and encourage me along the way, but I used to search for the liberty, the freedom, the wind beneath my wings - that piece of the puzzle that would allow me to be the flower instead of the gardener. Then slowly I began to realize that the liberty is in the freedom you have to express yourself, to do God's work, to laugh out loud, to date who you want to, to kiss in public, to enjoy a baby's laugh, to help an old lady with her groceries, to give your parents romance on a giftcard, to ride a bike with no hands!! These are the things that you can still do when you're broke. The parts of life that don't come with a receipt, but come with a guarantee.
John 6:27 reads, "Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."
So what happens after the morning after... you realize you're broke? Thank God for waking you up... and then hug Boy, Jr. a little tighter, call your mom and tell her you love her, watch the sunrise from your front porch, close your eyes and feel the Beyonce breeze across your face! Take in the moments that soothe your being, smile and remember that you're not poor - your riches extend far beyond your bank account. Please remember that money is just money. There will always be a way to get more money. Sometimes you have to be creative, some options involve poles and body butter (lol) - but there are options, that's all I'm saying! Why not try to nurture your spirit more? If you're spiritually bankrupt - all the money in America won't bring you the liberty you seek. You'll be a servant to greed, capitalism, and your relationships will be hollow and listless. But when you have faith that whatever your tribulation, God will bring you through, you'll never let depression set in. The small victories will matter, your ambition will never diminish, and your dedication to your passion will only strengthen in time - for you will be doing the work of God... and that my friends - is where your liberty lies.
Let the Church say, Amen!
Stay tuned!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
After the Morning After - your youth disappears...
"As I sit and ponder your effect on me... the thought makes me smile subconsciously."
No matter where you find it, this is what we are all searching for whether knowingly or unknowingly. The love, the pitter-patter of your heartbeat that turns into lust in your loins... the dream as a kid afforded by the blind optimism of youth. I will have a beautiful woman, I will have a handsome suitor - we'll have a dog, an argyle sweater vest wearing son, and an adorable plaid pleated skirt wearing daughter and we'll live each day in love, laughter, and unabashed devotion vacationing in the South of France. It's not until later in life that your optimism is stripped bare and beaten to a pulp by the neighborhood bully, or in most cases, your first love! That first taste of love, raw emotion, guiltless pleasure, and s-e-x!! Woo-hoo!! Hell, after that, your parents can't tell you anything, laws mean nothing, colors are brighter, you seem smarter, and a strong fearlessness settles into your soul - YOU'RE IN LOVE! Everything else fades into the background, until... he/she breaks your heart... oh bloody hell, now everything's RUINED... food has no taste, you can't focus, you don't care about your appearance, your breath stinks, he's/she's gone - why does anything else matter? Dear God, why hast thou forsaken me?! lol. Sad part is... the cycle of life will continue without you. You will eventually pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and life assuredly goes on... How you recover from your first love/heartbreak, will have consequences on all your relationships going forward. Trust me.
So fast forward to adulthood...
You are an adult. You cannot claim ignorance for the situations you put yourself into anymore. Your youth is behind you and the remnants of that period face you day after day. Whether they crawl out of bed with dragon breath and Spongebob Squarepants pajamas, are attached to your being in the form of bad knees and dark circles under your eyes, or gawk at you from a stack of bills on your counter - one fact remains the same... YOUR YOUTH IS GONE!!
What does life and love consist of After the Morning After - your youth disappears? For some of us, it's about doing things that kids half our age are doing - partying, drinking, smoking, and leaving our kids to figure out life on their own. For others of us, it's full time work, part time play, and sporadic moments of pleasure from spouses or partners that we may or may not want to keep around full time. It's about the juggle. It's about how we transition from being a selfish teenager to a productive member of society who actively seeks life, liberty and happiness. Our definition of those three things - routes our journey.
For me, it's about understanding what happens next and maintaining my excitement at what God has in store for me. I work hard everyday so that I can vacation with my girls (would be my man, if I had one). I try to experience new things, step outside of the box, color outside of the lines, and exercise outside of the house. I learn rules so that I can bend them - I educate myself on something new weekly (daily would be exhausting!) and I try to encourage others to do the same.
My cousin (a very intelligent man) told me that he found it really interesting that I use p90x analogies to describe life! He was being sarcastic, but I think it's spot on. Tony Horton says that the key to p90x is muscle confusion, you keep them in shape by switching up exercises and not doing the same thing all the time. I think life needs some muscle confusion too!! How can you become a better person, mother, father, thinker, worker, or lover by doing the same thing everyday? How will you ever progress in life? Answer: YOU WON'T! Don't be afraid to flip the script. To do something different. Go outside the norm - the norm sucks!!!
I challenge you to evaluate your morning after - and if you find that you are not where you want to be, find a way to change it. Find a way to get there! We're in a recession people, this is where you get creative!
We have a lot more to talk about...
Stay with me!
No matter where you find it, this is what we are all searching for whether knowingly or unknowingly. The love, the pitter-patter of your heartbeat that turns into lust in your loins... the dream as a kid afforded by the blind optimism of youth. I will have a beautiful woman, I will have a handsome suitor - we'll have a dog, an argyle sweater vest wearing son, and an adorable plaid pleated skirt wearing daughter and we'll live each day in love, laughter, and unabashed devotion vacationing in the South of France. It's not until later in life that your optimism is stripped bare and beaten to a pulp by the neighborhood bully, or in most cases, your first love! That first taste of love, raw emotion, guiltless pleasure, and s-e-x!! Woo-hoo!! Hell, after that, your parents can't tell you anything, laws mean nothing, colors are brighter, you seem smarter, and a strong fearlessness settles into your soul - YOU'RE IN LOVE! Everything else fades into the background, until... he/she breaks your heart... oh bloody hell, now everything's RUINED... food has no taste, you can't focus, you don't care about your appearance, your breath stinks, he's/she's gone - why does anything else matter? Dear God, why hast thou forsaken me?! lol. Sad part is... the cycle of life will continue without you. You will eventually pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and life assuredly goes on... How you recover from your first love/heartbreak, will have consequences on all your relationships going forward. Trust me.
So fast forward to adulthood...
You are an adult. You cannot claim ignorance for the situations you put yourself into anymore. Your youth is behind you and the remnants of that period face you day after day. Whether they crawl out of bed with dragon breath and Spongebob Squarepants pajamas, are attached to your being in the form of bad knees and dark circles under your eyes, or gawk at you from a stack of bills on your counter - one fact remains the same... YOUR YOUTH IS GONE!!
What does life and love consist of After the Morning After - your youth disappears? For some of us, it's about doing things that kids half our age are doing - partying, drinking, smoking, and leaving our kids to figure out life on their own. For others of us, it's full time work, part time play, and sporadic moments of pleasure from spouses or partners that we may or may not want to keep around full time. It's about the juggle. It's about how we transition from being a selfish teenager to a productive member of society who actively seeks life, liberty and happiness. Our definition of those three things - routes our journey.
For me, it's about understanding what happens next and maintaining my excitement at what God has in store for me. I work hard everyday so that I can vacation with my girls (would be my man, if I had one). I try to experience new things, step outside of the box, color outside of the lines, and exercise outside of the house. I learn rules so that I can bend them - I educate myself on something new weekly (daily would be exhausting!) and I try to encourage others to do the same.
My cousin (a very intelligent man) told me that he found it really interesting that I use p90x analogies to describe life! He was being sarcastic, but I think it's spot on. Tony Horton says that the key to p90x is muscle confusion, you keep them in shape by switching up exercises and not doing the same thing all the time. I think life needs some muscle confusion too!! How can you become a better person, mother, father, thinker, worker, or lover by doing the same thing everyday? How will you ever progress in life? Answer: YOU WON'T! Don't be afraid to flip the script. To do something different. Go outside the norm - the norm sucks!!!
I challenge you to evaluate your morning after - and if you find that you are not where you want to be, find a way to change it. Find a way to get there! We're in a recession people, this is where you get creative!
We have a lot more to talk about...
Stay with me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)