After the Morning After - you turn 31!

Yes, people - the day has arrived and gone and has left me 31 and emotionally a freaking wreck!  When I turned 30 - it seemed I had it all!  I was in a new budding relationship (kinda), I had some of my closest friends with me in the Dominican Republic enjoying 81 degree weather in November, and had a good job with some income!  On top of the worrrrrrrrrrrllllllld!  Well what a difference a year makes!  Here I sit at 31 with part time work, no love life, minimal companionship, and a longing in my soul for a mate and fulfillment in my daily functions and career.  How has my life changed so drastically in only 365 days?

Careers are fickle.  They are dependent on so many variables that really don't directly correlate to your abilities or skills.  You can be the best of the best and still get laid off based on the decisions of your CEO, the economy, or the fact that your entire business has been moved to China.  There are no guarantees - unless you work for yourself - the only guarantee for your hard work is how it transfers to your resume!  So I can't be upset that my career has taken a turn.  The economy has not allowed for my business to thrive so we have downsized.  That's not a problem, I just have to figure out where to go from here.  It's time for a challenge, it's time for some newness!  I don't have a problem with change - but sometimes, I would like one thing at a time, not everything.

Relationships are fickle.  I believe the start of it is recognizing that when you take your eyes off the prize, lose focus, and let another person into your sacred temple (your future - get your mind out of the gutter) - you begin to replace pieces of your vision board with pictures of them.  One by one your plans and visions become pictures of their plans and visions, your board becomes their board, and your life begins to revolve around them.  We've all done it.  We go about our lives as usual, while we work overtime to make their lives better - support their dreams - encourage their successes - positively spin their shortcomings.  In the process, our life essentially becomes ON HOLD while theirs progresses in the right direction.  You know why?  Because they have support!!  They have a vision board, a life coach, and a cheerleader all compliments of YOU!  And what do you have... the same thing you had before - but now you're happy because they're happy!  Everything is good, right!?  Yep, until they leave.  For reasons unbeknown to you, the relationship that you put your back into, is now gone.  So while you deal with the emotional complexities of breaking up, you get to look at your vision board and search for pieces of what it used to look like - and all you see is them...

If this is what relationships in your 30s are like.... this is why people get married in their 20s when no one expects much more than frequent sex and beer in the refrigerator!!

So what happens after the morning after you turn 31 - you reassess your life and get your ass in gear!  You had it all at 30 and the world was your oyster... I'm going back to November 2, 2009 and regaining the grip I had on life in that moment!  There was laughter, ambition, amazement, happiness, and I was settled securely in the moment with nothing but love and possibility in my heart!  I'm going back there.  I'm going to find that feeling and make it propel me to next level in 31!  We're only one day in this thing... so let's not waste another second on the simplicities of life.  I'm ready for a new challenge.  I'm ready for a new path in life.  If God sees fit to send me a companion on my journey - I will except him.  I will support him.  I will encourage him.  But never again at the expense of myself.  Never again.  Our vision boards go side by side, or yours can go in your own house!! :)  Ya heard me?! LOL.

Tomorrow will be different by necessity - not by chance!

Stay with me!